can't be bothered to edit my favorite shows
A snapshot of the Adobe After Effects splash screen. (Image taken by me)
the last fandom edit I've posted at time of writing was seven months ago. every time I make an edit, the editing community advances tenfold in technical ability. so much so that it makes me doubt whether my edits are of any value in comparison. don't get me wrong. I know far more than ever about how to edit and what ideas I like in the edits from my favorite editors, but getting in front of the timeline (Vegas or After Effects) feels daunting to me nowadays. it makes me wonder if I should just call it quits and pick a different hobby. I already do editing for promotional stuff, but that's a wholly different skill.
as far as I can tell, I've had this feeling since mid-2020 when I tried to put together many, many drafts that I just never finished. I had tried to make a little series of music videos focused on Infinity Train, one music video per season/book. didn't work, as I gave up halfway and could only muster up making an intro for each. (for some reason that's the thing I'm good at?)
dedicated followers have seen my long rant on Instagram about the subject, and were witness to the fact that I posted my latest edit no less than three days later. and yet here we are, still burned out to the point where I can't really work on much aside from wiki editing without a large, taxing mental load. I wonder if that will happen with me after I publish this post. that would be funny as hell.
the edits that are being made in this time and day have changed a lot too. my style is somewhat antiquated due to the limitations of Vegas Pro, so adapting to using After Effects or literally anything else has been somewhat of a challenge. it hasn't been impossible, since I made whole edits in that software, but being creative in it has its learning curve. the edits being made right now are fucking phenomenal, and beyond anything I could've ever dreamed of. that shit is actual pure art, and it stands as something less derivative than the things I make. for your consideration: nhantaii. bro's making edits about his own life and interests and interweaving them like he's fucking crocheting (I've been told this type of edit is called "moodboard editing"). my favorite editor at the moment. meanwhile there's nohluhn who's making his own damn ARG with edits of goddamn NewJeans. you know. the K-pop idol group??
anyway. if the purpose of editing was to stay in competition with editors like these, who have grown into actual motion graphics artists with a far more evolved sense of story and idea than myself, then editing would be a losing game for me. but I didn't really start that to compete with others. that sounds miserable. I would always lose. I don't get enough viewers to justify that kind of deal. I started editing because it felt cool, and I liked the edits being made. I liked the one Rhett & Link edit someone made and wanted to make my own. that's literally it. and I stand by that. but there's a barrier in front of me I can't really excuse having. edit block? artistic block? I've been drawing more lately. at least more often than I edit. it's nice. perhaps that could be a nice hobby. in the meantime, I would love to make more edits. my mind is really cloudy in that regard since I get so distracted by everything now. (please note that I may have undiagnosed ADHD.) I hope I can get myself outta this bullshit. my mind needs to have a lower barrier to entry for fan edits, and just make cringe sometimes. idk. i'm just fuckin' rambling at this point. good night lol.